- Half of Americans (50%) who financially support their child(ren) and parents/relatives say that doing so prevents them from living the life they want to live.
- Two-fifths (40%) regret not starting a family sooner to avoid the overlap in financially supporting and caring for both their kids and parents/relatives.
- Of those who financially support their child(ren) and parents/relatives, 59% say retirement feels completely out of reach for them, and 23% are not currently saving for retirement.
Adulting is hard. It brings forth new roles and responsibilities that can feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Yet, it likely doesn’t compare to the many Americans who shoulder double the burden – providing caregiving and financial support to both their child(ren) and parents/relatives, also commonly known as the sandwich generation.
According to a study conducted by Qualtrics on behalf of Intuit Credit Karma among U.S. adults ages 18 and older who currently provide financial support to their child(ren) and parents/relatives, 52% feel disadvantaged financially because of the financial support they provide to multiple family members, increasing to 61% of those who are financially supporting adult children over the age of 18. For these financially disadvantaged Americans, their most common sacrifice has been their inability to save money (60%), followed by forgoing vacations and buying things for themselves (both 40%), neglecting their physical and mental health (36%), and postponing saving for retirement and paying down debt (both 35%).
Supporting multiple family members financially comes with a massive price tag, especially for the 66% of Americans who say they are the primary financial providers for their child(ren) and parents/relatives. How much are people willing to fork over to ensure their families are taken care of? Spending up to $3,000 each month on their child(ren) is the reality for 23% of people, while one-in-five (20%) spend up to $3,000 on their parents/relatives.
The most common way Americans provide financial support to both their child(ren) and parents/relatives is by paying for necessities, such as groceries, rent and gas (59% for child(ren) and 51% for parents/relatives).
Here is a full breakdown of the various ways Americans provide financial support to their child(ren) and parents/relatives:
| Forms of financial support | For child(ren) | For parents/relatives |
| Paying for necessities (i.e. groceries, rent, gas) | 59% | 51% |
| Paying for nonessentials (i.e. dining out, clothes, subscriptions) | 57% | 43% |
| Paying bills (i.e. credit card, utilities, mortgage) | 53% | 45% |
| Budgeting / managing day-to-day spending | 48% | 41% |
| Insurance costs (auto, life, home) | 48% | 37% |
| Housing costs (i.e., assisted living, in-home care, rent) | 46% | 46% |
| Healthcare/medical costs, including end-of-life care | 46% | 40% |
| Educational costs (i.e., tuition, student loans, student housing) | 46% | 33% |
| Childcare costs | 42% | 30% |
| Bookkeeping (if they own a business) | 33% | 34% |
Supporting adult children exacerbates financial hardship and resentment
Financially supporting multiple family members at once is a challenge in itself, but the financial burden caregivers face seems to heighten for those who financially support adult children over the age of 18. More than half (55%) of people who financially support their child(ren) and parents/relatives say it feels impossible to make any financial progress at this stage in their life, increasing to 62% of those who support a child(ren) over 18, compared to 47% of those who support child(ren) 18 or younger. The same can be said for how this situation makes people feel – 44% say they feel resentful about their current financial obligations and the impact that supporting their family has on their own finances, increasing to 48% of those who support child(ren) over 18, compared to 40% of those who support child(ren) 18 or younger. Regardless of how they feel, 69% say they feel obligated to support their family financially.
Bye-bye retirement
While financially supporting multiple family members could impact various aspects of people’s ability to make financial progress, one implication may be more dire than others – retirement, which nearly a quarter (23%) of respondents aren’t currently saving for. Of those not currently saving for their future, 59% say retirement feels completely out of reach, and many have had to pull from their retirement savings to financially support their family (47%), while 44% have gone as far to completely deplete their retirement savings to do so. It’s no wonder that 56% of these people expect to work late into life, and one-third (33%) will have to depend on their child(ren) to financially support them as they age.
Quality of life takes a hit, and relationships suffer
The toll it takes to provide expansive financial support to multiple family members goes way beyond peoples’ finances – it’s impacting their quality of life. Nearly half (47%) say their quality of life has suffered from having to financially support their family, a figure that rises to 52% among those supporting adult children. Additionally, half (50%) say it also prevents them from living the life they want to live, increasing to 56% of those financially supporting adult children. Not being able to live the life they want could stem from life-changing sacrifices they’ve had to make, including the 43% of those who gave up their careers to be able to care for and support their family members.
The constant state of stress that 52% of people in this situation are in due to the financial pressures they face could be hindering their personal relationships. Nearly half (47%) say that financially supporting their family has put a strain on their personal relationships (i.e. romantic, friendships), increasing to 52% of those financially supporting adult children. Even when putting others aside, self care, or the lack of, is another sacrifice family caregivers have had to make. Roughly a quarter (26%) of those who support multiple family members say they only have 1-5 hours a week to focus on themselves and their needs, while one-in-nine (11%) report having zero time for themselves beyond sleeping at night.
The onus these Americans carry has 40% of them regretting not starting a family sooner to avoid the overlap in financially supporting and caring for both their child(ren) and parents/relatives.
Live-in parents complicate things further
About half (51%) of Americans who currently provide financial support to both their children and parents/relatives also have their parents/relatives living with them full-time. As a result, 30% of people say their relationship with their partner has suffered, and a quarter (25%) admit the same about their relationship with their kids. In fact, 44% are concerned their child(ren) isn’t getting enough of their attention due to everything they are juggling.
And, in many cases, sharing a roof with parents or relatives doesn’t necessarily alleviate the financial burden, with about a quarter (26%) saying they still have to pay for additional at-home care support, such as in-home elder care.
What’s mine is yours: Children face similar fate as their parents
What may keep parents up at night is the fear that they’ll be passing down their current financial burden to their own children. Nearly half (47%) say they’ve had, or will have to make sacrifices towards their children due to the financial support they provide their parents/relatives, whether that’s being unable to help with education costs or helping them pay for their wedding.
Another 47% are worried that they will pass along their financial burdens to their children, with half (51%) wishing their own parents/relatives would have been more open and honest about their financial situation and needs. This has many parents mindful about not making the same mistakes their parents did – 52% are having, or plan to have discussions with their child(ren) about the financial support and implications they may face when they are their age.
“While not a new circumstance, America’s sandwich generation may be growing in numbers as more people prolong starting families, life expectancy has increased over recent decades, and ‘failure to launch’ becomes the status quo for a number of young adults,” said Courtney Alev, consumer financial advocate at Credit Karma. “The financial burden this camp of people faces is undeniable, and in many cases, hinders their ability to achieve financial milestones such as retirement. And, it’s not just their wallets taking a hit — members of the sandwich generation also report experiencing a lower quality of life, dashed career aspirations and suffering relationships with friends, romantic partners and even their own children. We also know from our study that many parents worry about passing down their financial burdens to their children, and while perhaps inevitable in some cases, parents should have honest conversations with their children now about the financial support needs and implications they may face when they are their age. That may not make their children’s reality any easier, but it should help them plan accordingly to the best of their abilities.”
Methodology
This survey was conducted online within the United States by Qualtrics on behalf of Intuit Credit Karma between November 19, 2024 and December 6, 2024 among 997 adults ages 18 and older who currently provide financial support to their child(ren) and parents/relatives.